Ask Moire

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Scared of thunderstorms!

May 17, 2013

This week’s question: Rebel, a Brittney spaniel from Ottuwma, asks: “During a recent thunderstorm I was very scared.  So scared, in fact, that my owner let me out of my kennel to sleep on a blanket in her room.  Can you give me advice on how to not be afraid of the storms and how to get my sleeping arrangements permanently upgraded?”

Moire’s answer: Rebel, you certainly raise an important concern that many of your ancestors before you have dwelt upon!  My first advice would be to stop referring to the humans you live with as ‘owners’.  This only goes to their heads and aides them in a belief that is, well, flawed.  Secondly, while I understand that thunder and lightning can be frightening, you may rest assured that if you’re going to die no amount of worrying about it will help the situation!

Finally, if you want to sleep on a blanket in any location you desire I advise you to get on your human’s bed.  Over and over and over.  While they will make you get down – over and over and over.  Finally they will, no doubt, try to reason with you by making you a nice bed on the floor with your favorite blanket.  They will believe they have won the battle, however you can rest peacefully knowing that you got exactly what you deserved.

I hope this advice works well for you.  Let me know how it goes!  Until next time, my friends of all shapes and sizes, make sure you weather the storms of life like Rebel has done.  Ask your favorite feline for guidance.

Fondest Regards,

MOIRÉ

Moire The Cat

I am a cat. A cat that has done more, seen more, and been more than most men will ever know. My pedigree is defined by modest lineage but I have risen to be one of the finest. One of the most humble, modest, handsome, intelligent, regal, charming, and cunning felines you may ever meet. I often have 'run-ins' with the MPA tight-wad, fun-hater COO, Justin over such things as spa visits and luxury grooming. Having a cat with the skills I possess is not in-expensive. I don't come with a manual and there is no 'figuring me out'. I write a weekly column called "ASK MOIRE" where my faithful readership gets advice and suggestions for a healthy, more balanced life by sending questions to this email address: MOIRE@ASKMPA.COM

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