Ask Moire

Moiré Weighs in on Iowa State Fair Food

July 11, 2014

OK ENOUGH! Iowa State Fair, you’ve about made a mockery of my favorite and most precious food group – The CORNDOG. I mean, I looked past the pork chop on a stick, which is obviously just a pork chop still on the bone. I even looked past the new funnel cake sticks. (In fact I’ve pre-ordered a kitty’s dozen.) But now you and your money-hungry vendors have gone a bit too far. It’s ridiculous, it’s out of control, some would even say it’s RECKLESS.

In case you, my faithful readers, have not heard yet, the Iowa State Fair has announced a new “food on a stick” (if you can even call it FOOD). With much needless fanfare they have announced the CAPRESE SALAD ON A STICK. Really? I might as well go around eating grass. Where is the joy in a salad on a stick? And moreover, isn’t a salad supposed to be mixed together in order to marry different flavors? This is a tomato, followed by a leaf, followed by a small cheese ball. I don’t get it. I want a CORNDOG. A big, fat, juicy, batter-dipped slice of heaven.

I do hope sales of your salad go well. Otherwise I’d use the leftover sticks to skewer whoever came up with this debauchery!

Fondest Regards Fair Goers,



Moire The Cat

I am a cat. A cat that has done more, seen more, and been more than most men will ever know. My pedigree is defined by modest lineage but I have risen to be one of the finest. One of the most humble, modest, handsome, intelligent, regal, charming, and cunning felines you may ever meet. I often have 'run-ins' with the MPA tight-wad, fun-hater COO, Justin over such things as spa visits and luxury grooming. Having a cat with the skills I possess is not in-expensive. I don't come with a manual and there is no 'figuring me out'. I write a weekly column called "ASK MOIRE" where my faithful readership gets advice and suggestions for a healthy, more balanced life by sending questions to this email address: MOIRE@ASKMPA.COM

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